


Of Trumpets and Tyrants

by orphan_account



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Artist Jason, Bullying, Depression, Flutist Jason, Jason needs a hug, M/M, Marching Band, Nightmares, Pastel Jason, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Quarterback Percy, Selective Mute Jason, Self-Harm, Tuba Leo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-01 10:40:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8621335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jason didn't have an ideal life, not in the slightest. Between practicly being raised by his older sister, or receiving cuts and gashes and broken bones from an abusive mother, you must agree. The domestic abuse went away as abrutly as his family's lives did, leaving behind a fragile aftermath, vulnerable to the slighest touch. He became silent, in the fear that if he were to talk, only screams and sobs would arise. Surprisingly, he had a few friends, all being messed up, one being a pyrophile, the other a thief, there were quite the group of misfits. But, they survived, expressing themselves through music, crowns of flowers, and actions.Percy had an amazing life, enjoying every second of if to the fullest. Be had a loving mother and father, a baby sister in the way, and an amazing best friend. He was naturally athletic and was supported by his whole family when be came out. He had never known sadness, atleast in its truest form. It was his job to be a strong brick wall of sunshine and he loved it. Yet, his life is about to be invaded by a 5'4 inches of flower crowns and mystery.





	1. When I was a young boy...

**Jason POV**

    I walk into my first bell tired and probably looking like I came out of a grave. Scanning the room for two familiar faces I recognized a head of unruly groomed curls and immediately sat next to them. I had known Leo ever since he decided that I would be worthy friend material, though I'm not sure what he saw outside of a depressed insomniac, but whatever. Looking at the board I internally groaned; What's the point of learning impossible functions if they were 'Impossible' and completly useless? 

    My gaze transferred back to my paper, tuning out the lesson my teaching was blabbing, instead choosing to draw in my sketchbook. It's not like I need to listen, I knew I had the highest grades in all my advanced classes anyway. My dear friend Leo on the other hand...he needed a lot of help, except in workshop class, the only place where he felt at home. I could relate, drawing helped tune out everything suckish in the world, only fixing my attention to the curves and edges of my current project.

    Class soon ending and a smidge of excitement filled my veins. Today being the first football game, and where there is football there is marching band. Following quickly behind Leo's quick paced running we sprinted as fast as our short legs could carry us. It was tradition to get to the band room early, opting to use the 5 extra minutes to talk to our friend Piper, a percussion who fit quite nicely between the three of us.

    Breathing heavily as Leo and Piper talked about some new song I felt a pair of eyes fall on me, probably to ask to be quiet. As I lifted my head the feeling went away, so I brushed it off as my light-headedness. Wasn't not my fault I was unfit, the charge going against my dysfunctional lungs. Yet another permanent reminder of what happened no less than a year ago. I shook my head to clear my thoughts as students began filling up the room. I had been practicing with Leo at his orphanage, for mine banned me from playing, so I was farther ahead than most of my fellow woodwinds. Our director Mr. Apollo, was perhaps the most laid back teacher I had ever crossed ways with. 

    After properly cleaning my flute I swiftly went to work playing the solo that had taken up residency in my brain for weeks, producing a soft sound with a confidence I only achieved while playing. Eventually band ended and we were sent to put on our uniforms. I decided from the start that I wasn't going to wear the ridiculously tall hat, opting it out for one of my famous school color flower crowns.

    Our school was scheduled to play our rivaling team, which wasn't good as I had heard that there was a new quarterback. Now, did I know what a quarterback or football in general really was? No, but that doesn't mean I wanted my school to lose. Before stepping onto the stands, I peered at the huddled team of jocks that either: A.) Did harass me daily, or B.) Would eventually harass me daily. However, I did see an unfamiliar head of dark hair sitting atop a giant person.

    That must be the newbie quarterback, though he sure as hell didn't look inexperienced, no matter what you looked at. Sitting down in my designated seat, I didn't plan that Leo would catch me staring, and I definitely should've known he would act on this action. Standing up and clearing taking in a deep breath, my idiotic friend screamed, " Oi, QB, better play good if you want sparky to keep starin'!" Before sitting down in a calm manner, as though he didn't just scream his lungs off.

   The reaction time to when I turned my blazing eyes to my traitorous friend and when the QB looked back was too horrible to be true, clearing showing that I was 'Sparky'. Well then, I thought before taking out my phone and scrolling down to a certain contact. Nico Di Angelo, Leo's current infatuation, would just so happenly arrive to sit feet away from said friend, and a mischievous smirk crossed my face as the ref blew the whistle.

     The game began swiftly, as the ball flew across the darkened sky. We began playing our traditional starting tune, which was a personal favorite of mine. It was called T-N-T and one of the pieces that the flutes did little music in. Not saying that I was lazy, I just loved fusing with the music as it surrounded me. It made me feel safe and warm, filling me with a feeling of happiness that I rarely felt.

    I was so overcome by playing, barely feeling the earth shift around me. Band wasn't just a hobby, it was a huge family that understood and welcomed everyone. When I first began it, I was a different person who had just experienced two deaths. Walking in freshmen year, I was inexperienced, depressed, and alone. I may be exaggerating, but then again I know how much I owed to be where I am right.

    Its where I met the most annoying, insane, ballistic...loyal, kind and understanding person, named Leo Valdez. He was one of the many misfits in our musical community, and boy did we get along swimmingly. 'A band of misfits', a title that I loving bestow upon us. Everyone here had skeletons in their closets, from abuse to neglect to depression, and Mr. Apollo understood and opened his arms to all. 

    A sharp sound piercing the harmonic atmosphere shook me out of my daze. Halftime already? I need to get out my head and focus on the world. Shaking my head I get out the halftime sheet and walk down to the field, side by side to the closest people to ever resemble my family. Playing expressed a different emotion between people, ranging from sadness and regret, to energy and glee.

    As we played I felt a similar feeling of being watched. Motionlessly I scanned the bleachers spread across for my viewing. I assume it was only expected to be looked upon, being in the marching band. The halftime was another favorite if mine, reminding me of my younger days spent with my older 'punk' sister who secretly loved smooth jazz and energetic pop music. I realized that my solo was coming up and poured all my emotions into it. 

 

* * *

 

   Going from a low C# to a Db was the saddened introduction, getting the audience to begin to feel as the player did. Rising to a Bb the percussion softly began to enter the story as the climax was in the horizon. Soon the brass and the rest of the woodwinds brought forth the powerful climax, sending a great silence among the steel structures in front of them. Winding down the sections softly playing to silence till I once again stood alone, playing the hero's tune a great final time.

    Marching off the field once more another wash of certainty overcame me. I had the ability to silence legions of people, sitting lovingly in my chilled hands. Oh, if only people knew, then maybe people like me and Leo, wouldn't be as we are. Chuckling to myself I sat on the freezing bleaches and once again dozed off, against my own will. I wonder how different we 'could' be, if circumstances were different. 

    Would Leo still be the prankster that everyone loved and feared? Would I be different? More popular and fawned upon? Do I need to be those things, if I already am? Everyone knows his name in band, and even if they didn't, why did it matter. Popularity comes with expectation and pressure, while everyone was open and free where I am.

    Dangit, I dozed off again! I really need to get more sleep tonight if I can. Maybe I can ask Leo if I can bunk with him again, no doubt he would instantly agree. Looking at the time it showed 50 seconds slowly winding down. Did I have homework? I'll ask Leo, and probably have to force him to do his. Soon the game ending and I was walking alongside previously said friend.

     He had, obviously agreed to me, after translating the fast paced hand motions inside his head. Chuckling once more at his antics I softly punched him in the arm. While I had forgiven him for his intrusions in my personal matters, the stuttering and embarrassment of having Nico there was worth it. Maybe I should set up-.

     "Yo Perce, why ya starin' at de marching nerds? We gotta get movin', 'less ya want couch mad again!"

    I looked back to the QB quickly turn his head away from my direction. Huh, probably thinking about the sparky comment earlier. Pity, he's definitely going to one of _those_ jocks. It's not my fault I'm being stereotypical of them. They flaunt it, from the suffering grades to the bullying and harassment. Shaking my head sorrowfully I turn back to Leo, who was currently babbling about some crazy metal invention he made.

    'Can't wait to see it!' I signed truthfully, Leo never failing to surprise and awe me with his apparent witchery of alloys. He had an amazing teacher, as I had been told. Tall, burly, with a crude sense of humor, which fit Leo perfectly. I had a similar connection with my art teacher, sporting the title Mrs. Athena. She had been a major factor of my happiness and has been beside since my family died. She understood everything and even was married to another amazing woman, yet I still don't know her wife's name.

    I knew that tomorrow was going to suck as it did almost everyday, yet I grew used to it. Resting on Leo's bunk bed, I softly fell asleep dreaming of oceans of blue and skies of colors unknown to the rest of the world.

 


	2. Wake me up when it's all over...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feeling my way through the darkness  
> Guided by a beating heart  
> I can't tell where the journey will end  
> But I know where to start  
> They tell me I'm too young to understand  
> They say I'm caught up in a dream  
> Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes  
> Well that's fine by me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heres chapter two, thanks for all the support last chapter! Oh yeah I'm also writing this in a car on a phone so feel free to update me on any mistakes!

**Jason POV**

_Glasses smashing, screaming, yelling, Thalia. No, stop please it hurts it hurts it hurts. Please I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry, make it stop make_  her _stop, please, please, plea-_

     "Jason!" 

     I woke up to a blurred figure gently touching my shaking body. Leo looks terrified, he shouldn't have to deal with a mistake like me. I need to go, before his caretaker finds me again. Looking at the clock I have 2 hours till school, which is just going to be fantastic.

     As I turn my still violently shuddering body to a familiar building, I can tell what I was going to do. It was the same thing every time I relapsed, and it was the same thing that kept me sane. Relapsing, razor blades, then relaxing into the bathtube. Wincing, I slowly step out of the rose hued water and wrap tissues around the wounds. Opening my microscopic closet I decide the wear my favourite sweater, soft blue jeans, and a violet beanie.

     I kept a neutral tone at my reflection in the clouded mirror in front of me. Luckily I didn't have an eating disorder alongside my major clinical depression syndrome. I'm not even sure I could, the the amount of 'food' I get here. Shrugging my miniscule shoulders I get to work on next week's homework, being the overachiever I am.

     One hour till school and I prayed to whatever divine figure there was that the harassment would cease, at least for today. Wishful thinking, but it made the sinking feeling that had taken residence in my stomach lessen. With my morning plan finished maybe I could make it to the park in time for the fall sunrise, it was brilliant to sketch. 

     I was blistering outside today, teetering on the edge of 30° and being in a lightweight sweater made it all the worse. The old park hasn't been inhibited for years, by anyone other then me. It was the perfect utopia and one of my various secrets. Beginning my art, I start out with a stroke of my withered pencil across the page. It slowly progresses as more of the natural light show begins. 

     Just as I finish I remember that I have a place to be, and suffer. Making my way towards school, I wonder who its going to be today. Octavian? Luke? Maybe the new QB? I wonder if he will be the worst out of them. Walking into my first bell class, I notice that there is a new person sitting beside the only open seat. Luckily Leo is on my left so it can't be so bad.

    The topic in English is Shakespeare and Mr. Hermes is forcing everyone to play a part. He is another languid teacher, but still is cross at misbehaviour. He understands that I will not speak, allowing me a silent part of the mock play. The new person surprisingly has the part of King Henry the IV, and is currently going through the St. Crispin speech as passionately as humanly possible. 

    I suddenly recognize him as the new player of the football team. Of course! He would be athletically gifted and intelligent. Walking to our usual spot outside for lunch, I was shoved off course and into a locker. Hmm, so today is Octavian/Black Eye/Bruised Ribs day. Interesting, seeing as though he has never attacked me in front of other people in a long time. 

    Just as I begin to see stars surrounding my vision, my attacker was pushed away and without any hesitation a sprint, blindly running to where Leo was waiting for me. I notice the pitiful way he looks at me but it's nothing new, as I do the same to him. I try to lighten the mood by pointing to his invention that he was praising over yesterday. Thank the god(s) for his friends ADHD, as the smile once again returns to his soot covered face.

     After Lunch and my second core class, I soundlessly groan my annoyance as I walk into the locker room. Using my size to my advantage I grab my gym clothes and go to the bathrooms to change. Strangers seeing my bruises and cuts is not something I need.

* * *

 

     Gym is run by a headstrong idiot named Mr. Hercules. He doesn't care if you're 5'0 and asthmatic or 6'5 and Buff, you're doing what he says and you better do it right. Though I can respect that, I curse his name as I feel like coughing up my non-existent lunch. Everything hurts from my ribs and lungs, to my watering black eye. Just as I feel like passing out, a hand grips my shoulder and I turn my head.

     I'm greeted by a head of curled black hair and eyes that spoke of an unexplored ocean. Wow, thats hella gay self, _meh_ not shocked. His eyes scream worry as he helps me to the bleachers. Just as I'm about to protest, he points to our sleeping teacher and smirks. Probably sporting a childish pout, I sit down and breathe as deeply as my pitiful lungs would allow. 

    It's the annoying QB! God is he following me? Probably as a joke, not the first time it would've happened! I still remember Luke's smirk as he walked away laughing his annoying ass off. However, he must be determined as mystery man comes back holding a bottle of water and his ever current smile. 

    "Are you ok?I I'm sorry about earlier, I didn't know Octi would do something so absurd!" The unexpected anger burning those oceans made me flinch and blush at the same time. The fuck? Was I really doing this right now body, really? The only other person that's kind to him, that's why his body is acting as so. "Sorry! Didn't mean to scare you, I just hate bullying. You see I have this brother..." 

    The person in front of me visibly falters, confusing me. "Sorry I have a habit of talking, the names Jackson, Percy Jackson." Without thinking I begin to giggle at the absurdity of the situation. A popular, intelligent, jock using James Bond quotes like a dork. The awed look on Percy's face, confused me even further. 

        "Anyway! Ok, so I noticed that you use American sign language which is convenient, as my brother is deaf so I've known it for years! Oh look class is over, wanna hang out? I'm new to this town and would love to be your friend. You seem to be cool enough, especially in your adorab- oh yeah you need to get changed! Hey why weren't you in the locker room? Whatever, being shy isn't that big of a deal."

        How did he say that in one breath? Unsure what to do I nod my head and get up to walk beside Percy. He tells me to meet him in the back and reminds me to tell my "Parents". Though the look on my face repressed a wince, he must've seen it. Once again he tries to make it up, spouting about how his own mom used to be an independent single mom and how she's still awesome.

      I change my clothes and unlock my locker as quickly as I could.However, fate is a piece of crap as I see Octavian and Luke making their way to me, again. I try to block out their poisonous words as they try their hardest to make every part of my body bruise, for the first time being overachievers.

     After who knows how long they leave, and being the stubborn person I am, I limp my way to the back of the school, where a stressed Percy Jackson is. He immediately rushes to my side and embarrassingly enough, carries me bridal style to his truck. Ok so it's not that bad but-

     "Ok so now that we're alone, are you ok? Of course you're not, your bleeding and bruised everywhere! Did the same person do it to you again? Oh I swear, they are going to fuc- oops I mean-Did Octavian do it again? My mom said that she can help. Just sleep for now, my house is kinda far away. God if they think..." Tuning out the fuming teenager, I retreated to my cynical thoughts. His warming smile is really annoying me. Not in my usual, 'I'm so punk, fuck happiness' kinda way, leaning towards, 'I'm so swoon, fuck my life.'

     Honestly this whole thing with liking the football captain was really messing up my life. It really got old, and I decided to pack away these feelings forever, because god dammit I need more friends, the anxiety being overwhelming. I didn't want my only two friends to think myself clingy and possessive. Going back to the still furious QB in forth of me.

    "Anyway do you have an phone so you can text me in case something is wrong. I still can't believe that this kind of stuff happened so powerfully in this school. I'm not new to harassment, you know that brother I talked about? Well needless to say he got bullied a lot, heh, it never really bothered him, probably he couldn't hear them. Luckily I stopped it before they could start being physical."

     He stopped talking for a moment's time, looking far away as he presumably thought about that time. He seemed to really care about everyone, regardless of disability or social standings. Why are the least attainable ones always the nicest? It seems like he is starting to talk again, Jason, probably should listen to him.

     "This is one of the first time its happened right? You know, I just heard that his girlfriend dumped him and moved away. N-not justifying anything that baste- um idiot- did to you was right. He's most definitely angry with the world and is being to take it out on you. I'll talk to him about it, maybe you might even like each other?"

     That was probably the most trusting and arrogant speech I've ever heard in my entire life. Probably due to the aura of my choice people that I hang around but, whatever. He seems to be looking at me for a signal of agreement, which I respond with a lying and deceiving shake of my head. He didn't need to know, I guess if this 'hanging out' arrangement is to work out, I should use begin to use some sort of concealer. Maybe I could look in my Mother's old box, which is the only actual thing I have left if that abusing hag.

     I guess I was  _lucky_ enough to grow up alongside a sister, whom herself opted out of putting anything on her face, that seemed to love to dress up me. My eyes shock me and slightly water as I remember my sister. I need to stop thinking about her, atleast until I'm in the safe solitude of my foster home. As Percy turns the corner I'm honestly shocked to see stacks of apartment buildings. Not being rude, of course, I just assumed with his amazing style, 'seriously self, when did you become this hella?' that he would live in a middle to upper class neighbourhood. However, nothing about Percy seemed to be normal, in a completely awing sort of manner.

      Stopping his old, yet clearly loved truck, he hopped out his door to open mine, before I had even to chance to. 'Such a gentleman' I try, hoping to alleviate the mood even a smidge. My plan seeming to succeed as another 'Percy' rant began. When he said he had a history of speaking I thought he was joking, or at least it was mild. However it didn't seem to annoy me as much as I'd predicted. Great. Another thing to put on his list of things we regretted while thinking today.

      As we walk up his stairs a sense if dread sets over me and I shake my head in an attempt to control it. Bad idea on my part as I wince, barely hiding the pain it took to do such a simple action. Hearing a soft growl, I look around started, trying to find the source of the noise. I turn my head to see a storm brewing in Percy's usually welcoming eyes as he looks at his shoes as though they killed his mother. Bad analogy, wincing this time silently, the pain still refreshing itself into me daily.

     Their apartment was on the top floor. Which when referring back to when Percy and I first met, probably was the reason we stopped on floor 12 with him looking at me expectantly. Yeah ok, so I might be gently wheezing but considering the day's events, I should've been down at 7. I take a small pride in how long I've lasted, that is until I hear that I wasn't EXACTLY breathing as soundly as I thought. 

     With him opening the door after me I timidly walk into his house unsure and unknowing of what may come of this visit. I hear footsteps round about the corner, turning my head to see another head of treebark brown hair. I take a small note that it must be a genetic code that all Jacksons were to be over 6 feet. Well one timid handshakes from me, one gigantic hug from Mrs. Jackson-Blofis later, I wonder what exactly I did to be here, looking at their smiling happy faces as they look lovingly as mother and son.


	3. Hallelujah...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe there's a God above  
> All I've ever learned from love  
> Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you  
> And it's not a cry that you hear at night  
> It's not somebody who's seen the light  
> It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jasons inner demons awake, be warned. Also there will be slurs, and minor imagery of self-harm, so those are triggering to some I recommend skipping. Thank you all again, heres chapter 3. I'll see you lovely people, next chapter!

    I tried to understand what was happening around me. Tried to understand the affection filled glances, the small talk that spoke a thousand unsaid words, the simplicity of family. Yet I had no common _**idiot**_  knowledge that eating dinner was any different from eating lunch or breakfast. It was  _just_ putting food inside your body so you didn't die **yet**.

    However, here this complete and wholesome family worked, side by side in perfect synchronization. It was... **disgusting** unsettling for me for a few many reasons. I never understood why Mr. Apollo would end late practices before they were officially over, my only answer being, 'It's dinner time for some of them.' Then being sent away to keep Leo from burning **burn** the cheerleader pom-poms again. He was just as **perfect** abused **you deserved it**  as I am.

    I guess dinner was a time for communication, a fact I observed silently **mute**  from my seat. That's all they had taken part in so far, but it was still early into dinner, perchance something  **different** else happened? Yet as time passed as swiftly as molasses, it took all the while I had not to sign to Percy, 'What am I supposed to do?' I however was a **broken**  person of **useless** strong **weak** will, and didn't **couldn't**  . The **friendly**  voices inside my head were nothing new, just another **helpful**  messed up part of me. The Jackson-Blofis 's began cutting the- **c** **ut** , my arms **cut** ached from the non-supplement of pain **pain good**  and my head seemed to clawing **breaking free**  itself away. I needed to go **leave now**  before my caretaker **abuser** came to check my room **prison**. Turning my watering  **pathetic** eyes at Percy's deep **faggot**  eyes and shakingly **fuckup**  signed that I needed to go.

    The caride ended as Percy **pitiful**  looked at me through his window. I ran **limped** back as fast  **obese** as I could. I haven't had this bad **good**  a relapse in weeks. Grabbing as many sharp objects as I could find I locked the bathroom door, the voices already ebbing away. I began my work, loosing control over my body as crimson poured from my arms like waterfalls, it calmed the voices imprisoned within my skull, and banished the flames that spread beneath my skin. It reminds me that despite everything, I'm alive, that I'm still  _human._

    I breach the pale barrier between the world and the dark nectar hidden in my veins, I wondered if I would ever be normal again. The rosen ink spread itself across the canvas of pale flesh, producing a fable of pain and beauty. Beauty, was my thought as the crystal teardrops fell from my face, mixing with the blood to create such a magnificent hue. Why would I need to stop doing this, was the only thing I could think anymore, the high of pain blocking any other thoughts from arriving. I could end it right now, it was the first time I felt truly peaceful in a while, no one would be in pain due to me.

    No one would care, no one would be affected, maybe Leo would even get better, not having to deal my brokenness. I can't, not until I fulfil my last promise, my only true promise, the only promise I was going to keep. Not like the promises I gave to Leo, or the therapist, or anyone else who fakes to care. I have to graduate, even if it's on my deathbed I have to, it was all my selfless sister had wished of me.

    _Thaila_ , she should've been alive, could've been enjoying life alongside her girlfriend, would've if she hadn't jumped in front of me. She wouldn't be depressed, rather choosing to attack the world full force, living and loving every moment she spent. I got out of the freezing water, dressed my wounds as best as possible, and spread myself across my bed, open for the whole world to see. I wonder the purpose of my existence, if purpose even does exist, which is an unknown formality of mine. If there was a great and powerful figure, why would he create someone who would be their very demise, someone who's only known pain?

    To me, god is excuse, a reason to fall back on when tormenting those who are different, those beautiful few who stood as red roses, in a jungle of white. I know I can't change, I don't want to, even if I stand bent, as my leaves and petals fall and wither around me, I won't change. I would rather be who I am, the minority, the depressed, the difference, then be one that torments others. Sometimes it's better to hurt, then to hurt those worse off.

* * *

 

    I'm not quite sure how long I've laid here, wallowing and compressed within the torrents of thoughts, thoughts that drove me to live until tomorrow, however, until that day comes, I shall not live, but survive. Living means to be of life, and all the life I had was buried inside my sister's grave. The door opened with a sharp creak, shattering the silence of the room that imprisons us all. I lift my head to see Nico, a 14 year old who lost both his parents and his sister on the same night. He was better than me, but only because I forced him into light and love, as his darkness only added to mine. Back when he first came, I saw a void of pain and drove myself to stop it, being a total hypocrite to my own personal needs. That didn't stop me from hiding his razor when I was in terrible condition myself, or giving him my food when I was starving, or holding him when he was plagued by nightmares despite just awakening from my own. The smiling, sun-kissed boy in front of me was the sweeten fruit of my efforts, yet he had never known my own demons, so it was time for acting.

     'Hey!' I signed and threw in a blinding smile beside it, furthermore convincing him that I was 'ok'. He shook his head at my antics, believing with all his might that I was a sickly happy, over-cautious worry wort that babied him to this day. He turned into a complete chatter box, but compared to months of silence, it was a awing difference, that reminds me of all my troubles payment. I wonder if I should go to band practice, it starts in an hour, and maybe Leo will be there too. After about 20 minutes of small talk between the two, I hugged him goodbye and started the long trek to school, wondering what prank Leo would pull today.

It was a tradition of the band, that before every concert my friend would attack our band teacher, with a wide variety differing from confetti to silly string, even drenching him in water. To the blind eye, band could be mistaken as a place where people go to become happy, and in a way that's exactly what is was. After finally reaching school I sped up to where Leo and Piper were walking, quickly joining in on their conversation. The auspicious smirk plastered upon Leo's face frightened me, yet that smirk was always on his face, so it couldn't be too bad, could it?


	4. Quiet is violent...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Being in the dark, in most situations, is someone saving you from an ever darker place." Were the last words Percy ever heard of his father, and until he never knew what they actually ment. Then he joins the stage, changing the script that he'd spent years practicing and producing. It was overwhelming and he didn't know what to do or how to act or what to say. The blond bombshell was going to explode, if he hadn't done already, except in this case, the only casualty would be himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes quiet is violent  
> I find it hard to hide it  
> My pride is no longer inside  
> It's on my sleeve  
> My skin will scream reminding me of  
> Who I killed inside my dream  
> I hate this car that I'm driving  
> There's no hiding for me  
> I'm forced to deal with what I feel

**Percy POV**

I know I shouldn't have dropped him off, it's just common knowledge that when someone is having an attack you comfort them? Yet why didn't I, why did I just leave him to his inner demons? Was I scared, having no experience in the art of calming someone? I was probably being a worrisome weirdo, but the flames burning discomfort in my brain were louder then any rational thoughts, at the current moment.

Maybe Nico knows where he is, I've heard him talk about someone named Jason before, haven't I? I park my truck sloppily at a fancy parking lot, fumbling my phone before finding my friend's contact. Oh god I hope he isn't going be pissed, didn't the dude he likes have a concert or something. Wait, doesn't Jason play in the band, good grief I'm being stalkerish. This is a new low for Percy Jackson, apparently being a stalker extraordinaire. 

Driving towards the school, the flames slowing ebb off to embers, he's ok, he's fine, maybe he'll even be happy you came? I look at some at the band kids walking down the street, my heart bumping to a normal humans have as a familiar head of golden streaks cross my vision, he's ok. I drive up to them and offer a ride, might as well meet his friends. Didn't I only just talk to him today, am I taking this too fast, what is 'This'?

A pair of eyes seeming trying to bore holes through my body shake me out of my thoughts, turning my head slightly to identify them. The feeling goes away so my attention is back to the road in front of me. Flashing lights, cars zooming by, it's calming in a strange way, as if the world is moving slowly, allowing those slower to finish before them. I wonder if I stand alone in this feeling, this feeling of true serenity and dullness, it's a thought of greed. The silence is beginning to be suffocating, a feeling any athlete should never feel. Maybe talking will lighten the mood?

 "Hey so what instruments do you guys play? I saw Jason playing the flute, but thsts pretty much all I know." Chuckling at the end, feeling the weight of the world ebb off, slowly but surely, the boy with curly hair soon begins to speak, quickly zipping through words faster then a rapper. "My name is Leo Valdez, and I play the magnificent  _beast_ that is the Tuba which is the big metal thingy. Pipes over there plays the percussion, which is the drums and other special effects."

I...didn't know how to respond to that, because the way Leo clearly dumbed everything down was slightly offending. My disappointment must've shown of my face, because 'Pipes?' punched Leo so hard I could  _hear_ it, wincing for him. That girls got muscle, no doubt about it. I wonder if she would like Annabeth, they would be the ultimate power couple...I need to stop shipping all my friends.

Small talk as such goes into the rest of the short ride, only pausing to sneak glances at Jason every few minutes, only to know he's still alive. Yep. He's super quiet and it's fine to worry every second, perfectlllly normal. Would it be rude to ask why he doesn't speak? I mean it wouldn't be harassing him if I only asked, but he might have another panic attack, which was terrifying. Why does he have panic attacks, did someone ever abuse him?

Pulling into the school parking lot, a Grinch-worthy smirk crawls its way into Leo's face, highly concerning me. I wonder what's going on inside his head right now, clearly nothing good. Turning to Jason and then pointing at his friend a small curve arises on his face, which is understandable when he signs, ' Ever concert Leo pranks someone in the band, it's tradition'. Huh, pranks I bet they're hilarious, I can only imagen being drenched walking into the stage. I part ways with them and quickly find a seat in the very front, is it strange I'm weirdly excited? I mean I heard him outside, but between the wind and helmets, it was fuzzy.

The blinding lights fade out, and the maroon curtain opens up to reveal...No one. Where were they, they're just running late, right? I mean, I've had enough stress for a lifetime in these past few hours, God just give me this, please. God had betrayed me in the past, and today is no exception, because as I hear the intruder alert on the speakers, God holds no place in my heart. All the running and crying around me blurs away, and my heartbeat slows, ba-dum....ba-dum....ba-dum. What was I doing, I needed to go, there was a gunman inside the building. I have to find...Jason, oh my god what if that's why they didn't arrive. I have to find them, I must find them, their lives we're in danger, why is everyone just fleeing! Why is everyone else weak and selfish, I can hardly think anymore, just run, run in till you can't Jackson. Where is the band room, wait isn't at the end of the hall? Ok, what's my plan, I can't run headfirst, I'll die if I try.

Look around, what can I use, please please please. Screw it, maybe I can overpower him. A silently look through the glass window in the door and see two people, one is unarmed, perfect. Looking around the room, people are in differing levels of unconsciousness or being beaten endlessly. Red covers my vision as I see who they are currently beating. How fucking date they, HOW DARE THEY. My actions are no longer my own, and I feel as though I am floating outside my body. The two black-masked bastards turn their heads only too get clocked in the faces. I quickly disarm one of them and point the gun at their heads. I don't know how to exactly use it, but I've seen enough to know how to shoot. I'm not sure how long I stay there, pointing a gun at two strangers as everyone else stares.

Eventually, the police break down the doors and storm in. Little late, but at least there here. As they are hand-cuffed any adrenaline I had was purged out of my body and I slid to the ground next to Jason. He's not in good shape, blood pouring down his nose and eyes so abused they appear black. I hope the two men rot in jail for doing this, as if he wasn't abused already. The stares are becoming awkward, and I soon realise the position I'm currently in. Hunched over his body, probably threatening to any and everyone in the room. I mean I did just take down two people, one which was armed. Oh deal, I just took down two armed people, my mom was going to kill me, I didn't even tell her I was at the concert. My mom can be very scary when need be, I am going to be in so much trouble. A painful groan wakes me from my thoughts and I look down to see his eyes open a crack, most likely as far as they could go. Taking one last look around the room, I help him to his feet, thinking it would be weird to carry him in front of other people. I feel emotionally drained, but it's probably a paper cut compared to what Jason was feeling.

I just hope he won't remember any of this when he fully wakes up, but that's just wishful thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't you all just love my angst? Also Piper is my queen, deal with it.


	5. Tie a noose around your mind...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fight it,  
> Take the pain, ignite it,  
> Tie a noose around your mind  
> Loose enough to breathe fine and tie it  
> To a tree. Tell it, "You belong to me.  
> This ain't a noose, this is a leash.  
> And I have news for you: you must obey me."
> 
> You are surrounding all my surroundings,  
> Sounding down the mountain range of my left-side brain,  
> You are surrounding all my surroundings,  
> Twisting the kaleidoscope behind both of my eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No I'm not dead, at least not physically, but school is always a pain. Probably not AS much of a pain as to me as Jason...but here you go an extra angsty chapter for the extra long wait. Also why do I keep doing ToP and P!ATD songs I'm not entirely sure.

**Jason POV**

       It's been about two weeks since the accident, and while the extra attention is a  _new_ concept for me, it's not exactly a  _good_ one. Between the almost 24/7 watching over me, and the fact I still can't say no to anything Percy says, any _me_  time is used both precisely and harshly, often being rushed and messier than usual. The time between 4:00 am and 5:40 am is the dubbed _me_  time, going from the time I wake to the time where I have to meet up with Leo, Piper and Percy. An hour is not a long enough time for me and hiding the winces and silent sobs of pain shooting up my arm from anti-septic and makeup concealer burn as though hundreds of ravenous fire ants crawl atop my nerves, biting and scratching away the outer surface. My new Doberman pinscher, also known as the QB Percy Jackson, obviously tries to be around me as long as possible, and I have a sneaking suspicion he even is late to some of his classes.

       But that's all I've ever done to anyone in my life, just holding them back, atleast thats what the football teams tells me as the direct all their kicks and pushed to hidden places, such as my feet, upper legs, chest, etc. While my other body parts have preach mercy from being spared, the victimized bones and bruises say otherwise, as twice the pain is inflicted upon them. I used to shudder and be pitious to others as I thought what more open and light-hearted people experienced when harassed by them. Then my knowledge of my situation grew into something more bitter, but hid my resentment well. The fact of it was that everyone had inside people within the organization, whether it be a sibling on the cheerleaders, or a brother or sister on the athletic prowesses, they all had someone to protect them. 

     Of course Leo and I one of the special few that knew no one, no siblings or rich parents or close friends, just each other and our magical metal machines that produced such sweet sounds, almost canceling out the sour tartness of the real world. I guess an outsider or non-observer would say we just  _learned_ and  _dealt with it_ like a normal functioning person did. But when were we ever considered normal people of normal attributes in a normal high school? I've been fractured glass, each tap of a hand or slap of a belt slowly cracking away at the paper-thin glass, threatening to puncture the outer shell, letting forth the blood wine spill into the floor. I started off as softened sand, as most babies were, innocent and stupidly oblivious. After my  _father_ left us I started to heat up as my mom's tolerance level did, spiking through the roof enough to turn me into a substance akin to that of plastic.

     When my mom began dating again we both hoped and wished and dreamed and prayed that this would be it, that we might be a family for once, but that was simply my stained innocence pushing forth all its remaining power into this one last wish. After he never showed up it got worse, it got much worse, in a way it had never been before. Bullets of red, blue and green were added to my mom's breakfast, soon to replace all her food despite our continuous efforts for her to eat. Every time she would answer that "We couldn't waste money on  _food_ anymore," apparently there were being more  _pressing_ matters that were much more important than actually eating. That was the first of many years that would be full of emptiness and those  **DAMNED** red, blue and green pills, because that's all she ever bought, I was 6 when the abundance of food dispersed, losing over 20 pounds in the first  _month_ which had angered my wonderful sister to her relentless state that she died in.

    The only food our bodies received was at the food banks we would go to during christian holidays, which I wasn't even aware existed until then. I remember it shocked me that people could put everyone away if only for a day, to all gather to one place of comfort and warmth, only to throw their hands up giving away money and praises to a single figure, while other people that existed starved themselves and their children. My sister was my palace, my church or temple, my place of warmth and comfort and all my praises went to her, having no money of my own to give. It became a ritual of ours to package liquid foods such as soup and mashed vegetables, and force feed them to our mother, my sister always being far too strong for _anyone_ to overpower. As soon as she came of age, trips to the gym became another special activity between the two of us, where I would quiz her on her high school homework as she would do push-ups and free-lifting and things that simply shown her muscles to be about as sharp as a blade, and she became even more than my own personal superman.

     The gym was a second home for the two of them, of course the only thing I even did was walk on the elliptical for 5 minutes before being short of breath. It's even where Thalia and I met her girlfriend, Reyana, another woman of muscle and feminazi ways, and it wasn't long before I walking in on them inches away from each others faces, both blushing red as they confessed everything to the other. From our child-abuse and neglect to Reyna's story of self-acceptance of her sexuality and confessing to her homophobic mother. I even tear up now thinking of it, it was how the two of them proudly spoke their promise, that one day, no matter what, the three of them would leave this backwater town and run around the country, maybe one day settling down when the time would eventually arise.

      But they never got to achieve their dreams or their promise, because the world plucks every red rose its garden of white roses, smashing its fragrance to dust, only to watch in awe as their petals danced through the wind in a way that impossible to relive again. Reyna went first, she had been contracted with stage one leukemia when I was 13, and I had to watch someone I considered as another sibling, sometimes even calling her mom, wither slowly away from this world in my sister's arms, not being able to afford the relatively cheap treatment as a result of her displacement in her family, and the drug addiction my  _mother_ had fallen down into. I could say that's what set off the fuse between them, that the death of her lover was what caused them to that fateful night that haunts everything I do, no matter what amount of drugs I could take or therapy I could go to. But, my sister didn't raise me to be a person who goes against their word, so Reyna's death did play a part in their dispute, but the first doctor visit I ever went to was the flame that blew up and caused the casualties.

      It had gone something like this, "Malnutrition" and "Weak bone marrow" and most importantly, "Possible brains problems." And by "Possible" he meant: ADD, ADHD, Dyslexia, OCD and a bunch of other that I can't even remember now, it being over 6 years ago. It was also the night my mom had punctured my lung from kicking it in the right place at the exact time. All I remembered from that night was immense pain then blank, as if all emotions accumulated in that moment had been erased from my memory. I remember waking up inside a pure white room with no one around me in a silence haze, the only noises being from two unknown voices screaming at each other outside my window, quite taken with boredom I walked outside my room, the nurses either too exhausted or uncaring to stop me. Shivering as my bare feet hit the freezing wet sidewalk, I turn the corner to see four figures in an alleyway, but not quick enough, because just as I opened my mouth to call out to my own living goddess, a rough and painfully strong grip attached itself to my neck, and while already having trouble breathing, black dots joined my vision once more. 

     The next thing I remember I'm standing over twin graves, alone besides the priest, only sobbing for one casket being lowered, keeping their last words within my soul. The next few months were a blur to me, I can't remember a lot between going from orphanage to orphanage wishing for someone, anyone to just come envelope me in their grasp and let me sob, but no one did, and I had to focus on another kid who was going through dark times as well. The memories begin to lighten up as I met Leo, the first day of band wasn't exactly something anyone could ever forget, and I hope I never do. Leo was a bit darker and more senile and insane back then, so I guess that's how we first met. It started out more like a therapy session then a band class in high school, going around in circles to explain why each of us had dark circles underneath our eyes, and what interests us the most. Mr. Apollo went first surprisingly, spewing forth his twin sisters and his sisters acceptance story of being opposite genders, luckily being twins helped a lot, and that his parents weren't exactly accepting of them. When the time came apon to me to speak, I took no hesitance to show my hand to the whole class and sign part of my story, thinking that no one would understand.

     But that's how Leo burned his way into my life, slowly translating my jumbled hand movements to the class. The smug look across his face annoyed me, but I found myself drawn to him, similar to one that a younger sibling to the older brother. Soon Piper joined the mix and thus our trio began, a bunch of delusional emos that all said, "Fuck the world." With bright and broken and smiles.

   That's how I landed where I am watching Leo babble to himself about  _another_ machine, apparently one that can fly, my friends were truly insane genius, sometimes when I'm not being a complete idiot I guess I can be too. After all, I am the one who helped create the blueprints for said machine, but it make the black bruised bag beneath Leo's eyes go away if only for a second. I guess I could wish for a better life right now, one of money and mothers and fathers and football, but that never bothered me. If it's already turned to dust...why fix it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Jason...


	6. Authors Note (Not abandoning)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, the sun one day will  
> Leave us all behind.  
> Unexplainable sightings  
> In the sky.  
> Well, I hate to be  
> The one to ruin the night.  
> Right before your, right before your eyes.
> 
>  
> 
> I say ya kill your heroes and  
> Fly, fly, baby don't cry.  
> Don't you worry cause  
> Everybody will die.  
> Every day we just  
> Go, go, baby don't go.  
> Don't you worry we  
> Love you more than you know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is another chapter from Jason's POV, because it wouldn't an abuse story without current domestic abuse, right? Anyway I hope you all enjoy, and don't forget to comment! Criticism is always welcomed and thanked!

Sorry guys, This is going to be on a small break until the holidays are over. I'm certainly not quitting on this, just need some time to think about the way the story is going. Happy holidays to all, and I'll see you all, next update.


End file.
